Compile summary Your adoring CO -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.04 (USS Mystique, Ten Forward, ACEO Ensign (sg) Norman Harper, 1418) (USS Mystique - Sickbay- ACMO Lt (jg) Vren Marto -1539) (USS Mystique- Sickbay- Asst CSO- Ensign Naraht (jg)- 1540) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique, Personal Quarters, ACEO Ensign (sg) Norman Harper, 0903) (USS Mystique, ACOUNS Office, ACOUNS Ens(sg) Regan Alessi, 0910) (USS Mystique, Asst Counsellor's Office, ACOUNS Ens(sg) Regan Alessi and AOPS Ens(jg) Ash Physioc, 1100) (USS Mystique - Security office - 2O Lt.(sg) CTAC Jason Dema - 1142) (USS Mystique - Security office - ATAC Ens.(Jg) Ammon Ranae - 1143) (USS Mystique - Security office - 2O Lt.(sg) CTAC Jason Dema - 1145) (USS Mystique - Security office - ATAC Ens(Jg) Ammon Ranae - 1150) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- begin compile Stardate: 2407.02.04 (USS Mystique, Ten Forward, ACEO Ensign (sg) Norman Harper, 1418) Norm sat across from Regan, talking about how he really should get a new pair of boots, and wondering how long it would take for her to register that he was talking. She suddenly leaned forward and whispered to Norm, "Don't make it obvious you're looking, but you see those two girls at that table over there towards the back? Do you know them?" Norm lifted his drink to his lips and looked over the rim to where Regan had motioned, "Never seen 'em. They belong to someone on board?" "Well whoever they are I'm pretty sure the shouldn't be here. They should be in the schoolroom," Regan said. "Excuse me for a moment, Norm.I really should ask the teacher about them." Norm put his glass down and leaned back, "No problem." He muffled an uninterested sigh. After talking with the school teacher, Regan looked back to Norm and assured him that she would return soon. He shrugged and watched as she made her way over to the two girls. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.04 (USS Mystique - Sickbay- ACMO Lt (jg) Vren Marto -1539) Marto was running a diagnostic on one of the biobeds that seemed to be giving out false readings when she heard a rumbling sound behind her and turning round to see what was causing it raised an eyebrow what she saw. There was what looked like, to all intents and purposes, a very large rock gracefully rumbling across the floor towards her. Marto looked down at this 'rock' with a quizzical _expression on her face which quickly turned to amazement as it addressed her. “My apologies for bothering you. I am Ensign Naraht. My department chief Lt. Ketal sent me here to Sickbay. Who do I speak to about getting some time in the atmospheric chamber?” Marto's eyebrow climbed even higher and she snuck a quick look around Sickbay since she was persuaded that someone had to be playing a practical joke on her. But no, no-one else was paying the least interest in what she was doing so either they all had to be very good actors or, surprisingly this was actually happening and there was indeed a sentient being who did a very good impression of a large slab of granite addressing her. She shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts as finally, part of her medical training popped into her head. ~Of course, a Horta.~ "It's no bother Ensign. Am I correct in assuming that you are a Horta? I have heard of your species but this is the first time I have met one. As for time in the atmospheric chamber, simply let me know when and how often you need the time and I will have a schedule drawn up." (Reply Naraht) "Indeed, if you wish to use it now, that is not a problem. Please follow me and allow me to introduce myself. Dr Vren Marto, although if you wish you make call me Marto." (Reply Naraht) "It's a pleasure to meet you too. I have never had to deal with any of your species before do you have any medical information I could look at?" Finally stopping at the Atmospheric Chamber Marto turned and regarded the Ensign again. "Do you need any help with this or can you manage on your own?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Stardate: 2407.02.04 (USS Mystique- Sickbay- Asst CSO- Ensign Naraht (jg)- 1540) "It's no bother Ensign, said the darker haired stalk. Am I correct in assuming that you are a Horta? I have heard of your species but this is the first time I have met one. As for time in the atmospheric chamber, simply let me know when and how often you need the time and I will have a schedule drawn up." (Reply Naraht) I have not had any deep pressure time for over a week now and I must have that on weekly basis, unless I get that pressure in while planetside. My rocky carapace is showing beginning signs of deterioration and I am in need of the pressure for a few hours, explained Naraht. "Indeed, if you wish to use it now, that is not a problem. Please follow me and allow me to introduce myself. Dr Vren Marto, although if you wish you make call me Marto." (Reply Naraht) Well hello Dr. Vren Marto. It is a pleasure to meet you. As Horta naming practices go we have only one name. We feel it keeps things much simpler. "It's a pleasure to meet you too. I have never had to deal with any of your species before. Do you have any medical information I could look at?" asked the doctor. Yes, but I gave all of that information to the stalk Commander Saleke. He has both my personal files and history and extensive files on my species. Naraht paused, shifting uneasily. Where is your atmospheric chamber? He followed the medical doctor through Sickbay. Stopping at the Atmospheric Chamber Marto turned and regarded the Ensign again. "Do you need any help with this or can you manage on your own?" Can you show me how to set it to 4 atmospheres please? asked Naraht. It seems every model of these things are different. I will need to experience that for about three hours. Naraht paused again and shifted uneasily. I would appreciate it if you read through my personnel files thoroughly prior to any examinations or obtaining any samples, as there are no known anesthetics or drugs that work on my species. What has helped me are Vulcan techniques, but it would require intimate contact with a Vulcan. Many Vulcans, unless trained healers, are understandably wary of such contact. Naraht paused again. A frssion of fear flicked through his phalangi, but with determination he quelled it. ~She is my good friend and doctor now and will not do anything to hurt me~ Naraht insisted to himself firmly. I have had some poor experiences with medical personnel and with the hate group Humans for Humanity. I have no wish to repeat these experiences. I insist on having good reasons given me as to why I must provide any samples and what happens to those samples once they are provided to the medical staff. Now, Doctor, lets get the chamber set up. Naraht shifted himself over to the control panel of the Atmospheric Chamber and uncoiled his longer phalange from underneath himself and stretched it up toward the control pad. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique, Personal Quarters, ACEO Ensign (sg) Norman Harper, 0903) Norm lay on his bed, his legs stretched toward the ceiling, wondering how he managed to get himself into such a position. It wasn't that fact that his gangley legs were now hanging several feet above his head that he was questioning. He was thinking more about Regan. He had been noticing later that he hadn't been able to keep her from his thoughts and every time he found an excuse to spend time with her his stomach tied itself into two knots. ~I wonder if she knows how I feel. Aren't Betazoid's telepathic and all?~ He reached his hand out to his hovering toes and then allowed his limbs to drop back to the bed. ~I need a break.~ He thought to himself just as a voice over his COMM Badge interrupted, =^=Regan Alessi to ACEO Norm Harper.=^= It was Regan! =^=Norm, would you like to join Menno and me for some shoreleave later? I'm planning to leave at 1300 and thought it might be nice to find a caf somewhere on Geneva to have lunch?=^= Norm turned over onto his stomach and pulled his jacket from the bed post, "1300?" he said to break the silence, "Lunch it is! You choose the place!" (Reply Regan) "Then we might have time to check out that Boston Whaler programme I made." He said remembering the conversation they had a few days ago. "Then you can finally find out what a Boston Whaler is." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique, ACOUNS Office, ACOUNS Ens(sg) Regan Alessi, 0910) Regan's commbadge alerted her to an incoming message and she guessed who it would be from before she got the computer to read it to her. [Message to: Ensign Regan Alessi From: Ensign Ash Physioc Subject: RE: Counselling Session Hi, Miss Alessi would 1100 hours be fine for you? I finish my shift at that time and would be more than delighted to join you then. [Message Ends] She pursed her lips. She had specifically used the designation Counsellor, and was half-inclined to think that Physioc was not using that on purpose to annoy her. After a moment's thought she said, "Computer, send an acknowledgement to Ensign Physioc confirming that 1100 hours is acceptable. Sign it as from Counsellor Alessi." [Acknowledgement sent] ~well at least it's only the morning spoilt, not the whole day~ she thought. Then she smiled to herself. It might, after all, be an interesting meeting. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique, Asst Counsellor's Office, ACOUNS Ens(sg) Regan Alessi and AOPS Ens(jg) Ash Physioc, 1100) Regan had completed her preparations for the session with Physioc a good ten minutes early, to be on the safe side. Right on 1100, the doorchime sounded. "Enter," she said, but the word had hardly left her lips when the door opened and Physioc entered. "Right on time," she said in a neutral but not unfriendly tone. Ash smiled as the door in front of him opened and he heard the Counsellor. "Well I do try Miss Alessi, I do try." He said. He looked around the room, and decided to stand by the door until she offered him a place to sit. ~Do it the right way...~ He thought to himself, smiling. Regan noticed the 'Miss Alessi' again with a touch of annoyance that she was careful not to display. "Please, take a seat," she said. "Can I offer you some refreshment before we begin? Oh, and I prefer that you call me Counsellor, not 'Miss'. " Ash smiled as the the counsellor became annoyed with a simple word. Ash took one of the seats and sat down in it before speaking, "A glass of cold water will do fine." He said, "I find it tends to help me concentrate" Ash said. He made himself comfortable in the seat and then looked directly at the Counsellor, "Thank-you for seeing me today, Counsellor" He said with a faded smile. "Well, since your duties have prevented us meeting until now, it seemed appropriate to schedule a meeting for as soon as possible," she said as she rose and ordered his water from the replicator, and a glass of chilled pomegranate juice for herself. She handed Physioc his water and settled herself in a chair at a slight angle to his, not directly facing him, because she knew some people found straight face-to face sessions intimidating (although she couldn't imagine much intimidating this man). "So," she continued, "Is there something in particular you wish to address in this session?" She was curious as to why he would request a session with her. He didn't strike her as the insecure type. Physioc took the water gratefully, and quickly sipped at the water. He looked at her as she finished talking, "To be honest Counsellor. The reason I'm here now is completely different to my original reason for asking for a counselling session" Ash said with a grim look on his face, he still hadn't figured out what had happened in that Turbolift - it confused him so much. He took another sip of his water and said "My original reason was because somehow I had become telepathically linked to the ship, and I couldn't get out of it... BUT, somehow I'm not quite sure, who or what I was contacted by someone who released me from the ship. When I was linked it was like my life force was bonded with the ship... It was disturbing to say the least..." Ash said. Regan raised her eyebrows. It seemed that Pattia had been 'playing' with Ensign Physioc. "That I can well imagine," she said. "You are aware of the Hiren Pattia's 'presence' in the ship?" Ash looked at Regan, ~Pattia?~ "No, I didn't know that Pattia's 'presence' was in the ship...." Ash looked around the rooms, explanations flying towards him like a hurricane, "Who is Hiren Pattia?" Ash said as an afterthought. Regan frowned. "Please don't be disingenuous with me, Ensign Physioc. I'm well aware that the ship you arrived on had its own Hiren, as you must have been also. TQO, I believe it was known as." Ash nodded, "Yes it did. I just merely forgot about it. Sorry about that," Physioc said with a smile. He looked around the room once again, he seemed prone to doing this... Regan looked at him in silence for a moment. ~As you would~ she thought scornfully whilst keeping her expression absolutely neutral. She doubted he had really forgotten. You didn't just 'forget' something like that, particularly when you had murdered the man who had a direct link to that Hiren in order to cause enough confusion to allow your own escape. She also wondered what he found so interesting about the room they were in. Or what he was looking for. Some key to her personality, perhaps? Or maybe he was simply avoiding looking at her in case he gave too much away. "Of course," she replied, not allowing even a hint of her own doubt as to his veracity into her face or tone. She was used to people dissembling and recognised the signs. "So you'll know that Pattia has the ability to link to minds as and when she chooses," she added. "I imagine she permitted you to link to her out of curiosity. She has been alone a long time, I gather." Ash nodded, "It makes sense. I don't know why it didn't come to me earlier, I've been pondering what happened for a fair time now. The answer always escaped my grasp.... When Pattia let me go she actually talked to me beforehand, I can't remember exactly but yes i think she said it was my curiosity that allowed her to let me go as far" Ash said, knowing if he wanted to he could recall the entire conversation by memory if he wanted too. "How long has she been alone? Or do you not know a lot about her?" Ash said smiling slightly. Regan matched him smile for smile. "I know enough," she said. "A very, very long time. I'm not sure even Pattia herself knows exactly how long." She took a sip from her juice. "So if that was the original reason for your wanting to see me, what is the reason you are here now?" Ash was astounded by the length of time Pattia had been in isolation, and reserved to try and meet her again one day. "Yes that was my original reason... But then Lieutenant Keswick gave me different duties so our appointment had to be cancelled," Ash said in a bitter tone, but then revived himself "I don't know if this is going to make any sense to you Counsellor but, I don't feel... right? Like I don't belong here, I was hoping you could help me in some way..." Ash trailed off with a smile. It made a lot of sense to Regan, perhaps far more than Physioc was aware. ~goddess, he comes to *me* to help him feel like he belongs??~ "I can imagine that," she said, a very slight hint of dryness in her tone. "You came from not just outside this ship, but from outside the fleet and not only that, but from the heart of the enemy too." ~and your attitude since you arrived hasn't exactly endeared you to most people~ "It's not surprising you don't feel 'right' as you put it, or that you don't belong. Your... experiences are very different to those of most people on this vessel, indeed in the entire 52nd. In most people's eyes that puts you at a disadvantage, yet you seem to make little attempt to fit in. Your adherence to the Telepathic Moral Laws has been less than perfect, and whilst most would not necessarily be aware of that, I can assure you in my own case I am." She looked at him. "Forgive my plain speaking, Ensign, but to be honest the onus is on you to adapt. You have to forget whatever position you may have held under Doenitz and accept that here at least you are right back at the beginning again. I can help you to do that, if you wish, but if I am to do that it will require a lot of co-operation and *complete* honesty on your part." Ash looked at the counsellor as she spoke. ~Yes~ he thought. "Your plain speaking is forgiven," He said first as she had asked him to forgive it, he knew it was rhetorical but he didn't care too much. "I am willing, Counsellor. But I don't know where to start, not a lot of people seem to want to let me help." Ash frowned, "So you're willing to help me? That's a first, most people won't even say hello to me in the morning" Ash joked, with a slight smile. "That's my job," Regan replied. "I'm here to help the whole crew, irrespective of who they are. As to where to start..." she considered for a moment, "you need to drop your superior attitude. It shows through, you know? Even when you try to conceal it, it still shows. I know, for example, that you certainly didn't get off on the right foot with your department head. Issues like that get passed along to the counselling department as a matter of course," she added, "in case of further problems which might impact on te running of that department. You can of course rest assured that anything I may know about your record remains confidential, as does anything you say to me here and anything I learned about you in our contact when you first came aboard. The only people I would discuss any of these things with would be Dr Mias as my head of deaprtment and Captain Saleke, who presumably already knows the full story. However, I would only discuss it with Captain Saleke should both Dr Mias and myself feel that would be appropriate and necessary for the safety of the ship or the crew." She took another sip of her juice, thinking ahead as she waited for any reply he might want to give her. "Superior attitude?" Ash said sounding rather astonished, he too bothered that Regan thought he had a superior attitude, at least it meant he was having some kind of impact.. "Sorry? I don't quite understand. 'My Superior Attitude?' - I don't take it to myself to be superior..." Ash stopped himself before he said what he was about to, "You'll have to elaborate on what you mean, Counsellor" Ash said smiling, "I'm afraid my idea of Superiority and your must be different, as far as I know I've done everything I've been told to do, with little questioning." Ash said quickly wiping the smile back off his face, and took a drink of his water. Regan smiled gently. She could almost feel sorry for him. "It's not so much what you do or say, it's the way that you say or do it and also what you think whilst you're doing it. That shows in your face, in your eyes, in your body-language, in a hundred small ways. You didn't attend Starfleet Academy so you probably aren't aware that officer training involves a degree of instruction in body-language and expressions. The senior officers on this ship - and I include the department heads in that - have years of experience on top of that training. Doctors and counsellors of course have even more. Being able to shield your mind doesn't necessarily mean you can completely conceal your feelings, even from non-Betazoids. Your self-confidence and your sense of your own superiority - which I would guess stems partly from your abilities and partly from your position of trust under Doenitz - can come over as arrogance, whether you mean it to or not. But here you are not anyone special, just the new guy; you're also the defector whose motives are rightly or wrongly distrusted until you yourself can gain that trust. You have to accept that your background leaves you open to a lot of suspicion on the part of the officers and crew of this ship. Trust, being the basis of acceptance, is something you have to earn, not what everyone else has to give. In these times, in the midst of a civil war, trust is not lightly given and very easily take away." "I felt no happiness in serving under Doenitz or having to murder the amount of people I had to, including Montague... Doenitz killed my parents and forced me to serve under him, it is something I just can't allow" Ash said with a little anger raising in him, he quickly reflected back at the time he spent on Vulcan and began to calm his emotions. "The fact that I served under Doenitz, just angers me more that I could never find away to kill him and finish this civil war... But now I'm here, trying to fight him in a different way... Surley that should tell people, that I'm on their side?" Physioc asked solemnly. "I may not have been to Starfleet Academy but I've been trained on Betazed and Vulcan in many different arts of concelation, something I would say the Vulcans are masters at, because of there control over their emotions...." Ash looked around the room again, and wondered if Regan would say anything about Montague.. He had mentioned him for a reason, and also because he was the last Physioc had been forced to kill. Regan's eyes widened a little at the mention of Alexis, but first she addressed what Physioc had said about himself before touching on that, still raw, subject. "Whether you served him out of choice or out of necessity isn't going to make a great deal of difference to most people," she explained as gently as she could. She could feel the emotion that thought had raised in him flaring like a sudden flame as he had spoken of it, and noticed his calming of those same emotions. "In fact, most people don't even know how or why you served under him, just that you did." She sighed. "Exactly how you let them know the true case, I don't know. It's not like you can or should broadcast it on a shipwide communication. I would say that if you are open with others - and I do realise how hard that is likely to be for you after so many years spent trying to conceal your real feelings and emotions - then they will come to accept you. But just because you are here doesn't tell people that you're on our side. Put yourself in their place, imagine that you were in fact a true Doenitz loyalist and someone senior from the 52nd defected, claiming to have always been loyal in secret. Would you have trusted them straight away? If you could not look inside their heads? Ash nodded, "Ok. I suppose you're right, I can't expect people just to warm up to me.... well I mean I didn't anyway, I just thought people would at least be willing to listen... Even on Earth, I kept myself to myself unless I was requested by someone... Nobody saw me or heard me. But on a ship it's a lot harder to do such a thing, everybody knows everybody. So I decided to try and make some friends but there aren't a lot of people that are willing. I am meeting with Ensign Naraht later on today, hopefully I'll be able to get a friend there. But I wouldnt be surprised if things go badly... I don't seem to make a good impression..." Ash said, he then quickly thought "That must be because of my 'Superior Attitude problem'... I should try and sort that out.." Ash added in afterthought... Regan looked at him sympathetically. "I'd say just be yourself, be Ash Physioc, but I'm not sure you really know who that is right now," she said gently. "You've spent so many years hiding behind a facade that the real 'you' may be hard to find..." She paused. "And if I say, don't try too hard, don't take that to mean not to try at all. You have to open up, to allow yourself to trust even where you feel that trust is not given to you, and that is a very hard thing to do. Don't expect miracles; friendship takes time to develop in most cases but I think - I hope - that if you try to be honest and open with Ensign Naraht, who is himself new aboard the ship, he will respond in kind and that will be a beginning for you. Other friendships will come in time, as other people get to know you. You can't force it, but you can help it along." Regan smiled suddenly. "And the upcoming wedding, between Lt Keswick and Dr Vren, and the party afterwards, should give you some chance to practice. People will be more relaxed there, you may well find it easier to talk to them away from the ship and duty-rosters." A charitable instinct which she was sure she would come to regret made her add, "You and Ensign Naraht would be most welcome to spend some time with Ens Harper and myself after the wedding itself, I'm sure." Actually she was far from sure but she hoped that Norm would help her through it. He was a friendly, sociable soul and Regan already felt very close to him in many ways, despite what she had told Ash about friendships taking time to develop. Ash smiled, he got it. "Well I'll pass that message on, once I see him. And I'm sure I'll see you there." Ash wondered whether Keswick had got his congratulatory note in hie reports, and then realised that Keswick probably wouldn't get it until he picked the reports up. "Myself? Thats an interesting concept, you're right I'm not sure who I am, just what my intentions are." Ash took a sip of his water again and placed it on the table to the side of him, "How do I find out who I am?" Ash asked with a smile on his face.. Regan shook her head. "I can't answer that for you," she said. "It's one of the things you have to find out for yourself. You have to strip away the parts that are not you, the layers you have added over the years to protect yourself, to hide yourself. The only thing I can promise you is that the journey will be an interesting one, and you'll find out things about yourself that you didn't know existed. You won't like all of them, but you should find something that you like. Everyone should like themselves, because if *you* don't like yourself the one thing you can be sure of is that no one else will. And it is possible to change the things you don't like about yourself, though like everything else, that takes time and effort. I can help, with both things," she added, "but I can't do it for you." Ash looked confused, Alessi said she couldn't tell him how to find how who he was. Yet she provided him with a pretty good description of how to do it. "You can help me?" he asked quietly. "I can help you," she agreed. "But you are the one who will be doing the most of the work, not me. And you have to remember that what works for one person doesn't always work for another, which is why I can help but not give you a definitve answer. But if I am to help you, there can be no secrets between us. You can't keep something from me because you think I won't like what I see or hear. There is no easy answer, no quick solution. It will take time and effort from you, and commitment as well. I am prepared to give you my commitment; I need the same from you." Ash looked at her, ~Yes~ "My Commitment is yours then." Ash said smiling. He wondered why she said about 'no secrets between us', Did that mean she would tell him things about her also. He decided to try later, "I have the time and the effort and you have my commitment" Ash said, "Now... where do we start?" Ash asked curiously smiling. Regan looked at him for a long moment before replying. "We can start with Alexis Montague," she said coolly. "Because until we clear the air about that, neither of us can really be said to trust the other. I think you know that," she added, watching him closely. Ash nodded, At last she came to the subject with which she despised him for.... or so he assumed anyway. "Alexis Montague, Captain of the USS Zephyr... What do you want to know?" He asked with curiosity. ~What don't I want to know?~ "We can start with why you killed him," she said. "Why him, and not someone else. Why anyone at all, I suppose, but why him in particular?" Ash smiled, "The TQO you mentioned before was my main reason. Montague was telepathically linked with the TQO, by attacking Montague - not nessasarily killing him although I knew it probably would. It distracted the TQO long enough for me to escape Doenitz's control. Does that tell you why? Or do you want to know more?" Ash said quickly. Regan looked at him in silence for a long time before speaking. "A dagger in the throat and another in the eye, from someone with your skills, only 'probably' killing him?" she asked eventually. "Please don't patronise me." "No I was talking about terminating the link between him and the TQO would probably kill him. The daggers were meant to cause enough pain to do so, and then distract the TQO. You saw my memories, why do you seem so affected by Montague's death? He was an opposing Captain, if the Mystique and the Zephyr had gone to battle and the Zephyr had been destroyed he would have died then. It was because of my help disabling some of the ships systems that, that didnt happen. One life or a hell of a lot more," Ash finished and looked at Regan awaiting an answer. Regan took a deep breath. Only Riven so far knew of her connection to Alexis, and by revealing it to Ash she hoped to show him that openness was the beginning of trust. Besides, he was no fool and probably guessed at her feelings towards him. If they were to work together then he had to know why she had those feelings. "He was my son's father," she said simply. Ash smiled, He had found out the connection now he just had to find out how it had happened. "You have a son?" Ash asked curiously, he already knew she had one... He had been looking over the crews roster and it had come up. "How?" Ash stuttered, He was better at this than he thought... "When?" He stuttered once more... Re-gaining his composure he said "I'm sorry counsellor but I didn't know..." Ash frowned slightly... ~oh really~ "The 'how' is not really any of your business, but as I'm sure the roster has told you," she tried that as a hit and was satisfied with the result, "how old my son is, the 'when' is relatively easy to calculate. As for your not knowing I had a son, as I said before please don't patronise me. Knowing your background, one of the first things you would have done on gaining access to the computer is to look through the records of the crew. If you hadn't," she added, "there's no way you could have survived as long as you did under Doenitz. I agree, there was no way you would know who his father was, since it is not listed anywhere. But as for not knowing I had a son..." She paused and her voice hardened slightly. "Don't play me for a fool, Ashliu Physioc. I warned you to be open with me. This is your last chance, screw with me or mine again and you will not like the consequences. How things go from here is entirely up to you." It was gonna be harder than Ash thought. "You're right, Counsellor. I'm sorry. I was just merely interested... It wasnt Alexis's fault that he was killed, he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and arguing with the wrong... 'person'" Ash said, "If I had realised he was your sons father...." Ash thought about it for a minute ~I would have probably done the same thing~ Ash thought to himself. Regan permitted herself a small smile. "If you had realised he was my son's father it would not have made the slightest difference to you," she finished for him. "Everyone you have killed has been somebody's son, daughter, father, mother, sister, brother... It's the nature of the work you did for Doenitz. It hardens you." She looked at him again, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Frankly I'd rather think you hated Alexis and killed him because he was an evil, selfish, inhuman b*****d whose death could only benefit the universe as a whole than that he was, ah, 'in the wrong place at the wrong time'," she said in a deceptively neutral tone. "But if that's really the only reason, then I guess I'll have to live with that." He watched his reaction to her words carefully, whilst apparently giving her attention to finishing off the pomegranate juice in her glass. Ash had his mouth half open, as she described the father of her son with such hatred. He cocked his right eyebrow and then frowned. "Well I'm not gonna say I liked the man, and that it was a hard decision to make... Let him live and let him die later with the rest of his crew or let him die and save the rest of the crew and escape at the same time" Ash said, "Hardened?" He asked, "No I would rather use the word, Experienced in death... I rarely killed anybody in hand to hand combat, I had a team of telepaths which did that for me.. I was always the one who gave the orders that came down from Doenitz. I only went on missions that were of a specific importance to Doenitz, and required me to use my telepathic and/or empathic powers." Ash picked up his glass of water and took another sip. "One question Counsellor, and I hope you don't take it to be anything to suggest I am trying to screw you, but what did you see in that man?" Ash said, "I fully understand if you don't wish to tell me, I just thought I'd ask," Ash said afterwards just to cover his back. Regan shrugged. "If you knew Alexis at all, you'll know he could be as charming as all-get-out when he wanted to be," she said mildly. "When he nailed his colours to Doenitz's mast, long before that man got where he is today, we split up. I wasn't from the 'right' sort of family, you see. I couldn't further his career and so I was a pleasant diversion, nothing more. That hurt, but finding out what sort of person he really was, that came later. Were you with him when the Zephyr attacked the Marie Celeste?" "Well I had the unfortunate fortunity to have to do a mind sweep of Alexis on orders by Doenitz. So yes you could say I knew him pretty darned well...." Ash thought, did he tell her that he was there on the attack on the Marie Celeste? He had to... "Unfortunately I was at the Ops station on the Zephyr when they attacked the Marie Celeste. Why?" Ash asked curiously he wondered how that ship had a connection with Alexis. "I was on the Celeste," Regan said simply, then her voice hardened. "The Celeste was disabled, we had lost weapons, propulsion and shields. The Captain was badly injured and when the First Officer offered to surrender. Alexis laughed at her. Then he gave the order to fire on the Celeste again. Only the arrival of a Klingon vessel answering our distress call saved us. The Zephyr had been hit too and he obviously didn't fancy his chances against a negh'var so he cloaked and left. The Klingons stayed to help, and we eventually made it back to safety. I have no idea if Alexis knew I was there or not but I knew he was there, on the Zephyr. And that he took great pleasure in what he was doing." She looked at Ash, again holding his gaze. "The Celeste was an old explorer vessel, lightly armed. Full of families. Hardly a threat to anyone, let alone a ship like the Zephyr." Ash nodded, he could remember. He was busy transferring power, he felt a sudden up-rage of anger when Alexis had laughed at the first officer. Montague at that moment was just as bad as Doenitz. It was one of the reasons he hated Doenitz so much. He was there when Doenitz ordered the Murder of Sevant's family and children... Ash couldnt do anything and he had felt so helpless. "I remember... I remember most of the crew wanting to go on mutiny because of it, until Doenitz reminded them what he would do to them if they did so. My mission on the Zephyr was of a spy trying to find out who was leaking information out of the Zephyr to the 52nd, I'm guessing that person probably helped you also... As a few of the systems on the Zephyr were blown out - but not by your weapons, I covered it up for whoever it was... and made it look like a malfunction" Ash said frowning at the memories of that disturbing battle. "Then perhaps now you understand my words earlier." She looked at Ash again. "When I found out you had killed Alexis, I didn't know whether you had killed him on Doenitz's orders or not. Or maybe just to give yourself the chance to get away from him, from Doenitz. I didn't know, in short, whether there was any difference between him and you. I think now that maybe there is. But you understand, I hope, why I had to find out?" Ash nodded, "I understand. But so you know, I disagree with Doenitz on most things. Which made it hard for me to be myself for the last several years, I had to change well cover myself in my orders and work." Ash said grimly. Regan looked at him, gauging his honesty. "Then if you really want to discover your true self again, Ash, I will help you." She gave him a small smile. "The longest journey starts with but a single step and you took that just now. We still have a long way to go, but a journey in company with others is less difficult than one taken alone. If you allow others in, then you'll find it easier." Ash nodded, "Very well then. Thank-you, Re... Counsellor, I know what I must do... And with you helping me I can't see how I will fail." Ash said smiling... Regan smiled back. "I think you had better call me Regan," she said. "By the time this is over, and you have reached your goal, we'll know one another pretty well. I suggest regular sessions, at least at first. How often would you like them to be?" "Ok then... Regan. I don't mind how often, thats up to your schedule. How is your schedule?" Ash asked politley. "I'd suggest maybe every other day, at first. We can change times or even days to fit with your shifts," Regan said. "My schedule isn't so busy I can't find time for anyone who needs my help. And who needs a friend." Ash smiled, ~A friend?~ "Ok then, that sounds great." Ash said raising from his seat and downing the rest of his water, he assumed the session was over. "Its been good talking to you, Regan. However if I don't leave soon. I'll be late for my meeting with Naraht, and I don't want to do that.. Bad impressions and all.." Ash said smiling.. Regan smiled. "I'll put you in for the day after tomorr- " she broke off. "No, three days time. After the wedding. Unless you want to make it before then?" Ash shook his head, "No that will be ok. I'll be able to tell you in more detail about the party, and see if I managed to be able to get anybody talking..." Ash said jokingly.. Regan smiled. "Well you can be sure of three people talking to you," she said in a similar tone to his. "Myself, Ens Harper, and Ens Naraht. Now you'd better go, we certainly can't have you starting out on the wrong 'phalange' with Ens Naraht," she grinned. Ash smiled, he had read up on Horta's physiology. "Ok, then. I'll see you at the party, or wherever I see you beforehand" Ash smiled. "Thank-you for seeing me Regan." Ash headed for the door, "It's been a pleasure." He said before exiting the room... and heading to Ten Forward. Regan stood up as the door closed behind him and walked slowly over to her desk. She sat down and looked at the padd in front of her for a moment, then began to enter her session notes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique - Security office - 2O Lt.(sg) CTAC Jason Dema - 1142) "I am Ensign Ammon and I've been assigned as an ATAC for the Mystique, sir." Jason took the liberty of staying silent for a while, and looked at the new Ensign. He motioned her to sit down in front of him, and kept observing her every move. After a few more silent moments, Jason stood up and walked over to the replicator. "So, do you want anything?" (reply Ammon) Jason replicated the drinks and placed them on his desk. Before continuing he took a sip from his drink, and sat himself down in his chair. "So Ensign, tell me about yourself." "My mother is of the Bajoran race, my father from the Cardassian race, but he is a Bajoran citizen by choice and has converted to my mother's religion. I am sure you are aware that there are many mixed breeds like me on Bajor, however unlike most who are raised in orphanages, my brother Zarak and I were raised by our parents." "You don't need to answer if you don't want to, but, how did that influence your life, being a mixed breed, especially with the hostilities there used to be?" Jason hoped he hadn't struck a sensitive nerve, but he needed to know she could control herself if she would ever be faced with racism of any kind. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique - Security office - ATAC Ens.(Jg) Ammon Ranae - 1143) Ranae introduced herself respectfully and stood quietly while her superior officer remained silent, looking her over before motioning her to take a seat. As she moved to do his bidding with the feline grace her martial art studies had bestowed on her body, she was aware of his continued scrutiny and wondered if it was some kind of testing of her nerves. She vowed that it wouldn't get to her as she sat down and waited. After a few more silent moments, Lt. Dema stood up and walked over to the replicator. "So, do you want anything?" "Ice water please." Ranae replied, aware now that her throat and mouth were dry. He replicated the drinks and placed them on his desk. Before continuing, he took a sip from his drink, and sat himself down in his chair. The ATAC thanked him and gratefully sipped the refreshing icewater. "So Ensign, tell me about yourself." Taking another sip, Ranae formed the words in her mind and then gave him some information. "My mother is of the Bajoran race, my father from the Cardassian race, but he is a Bajoran citizen by choice and has converted to my mother's religion. I am sure you are aware that there are many mixed breeds like me on Bajor, however unlike most who are raised in orphanages, my brother Zarak and I were raised by our parents." "You don't need to answer if you don't want to, but, how did that influence your life, being a mixed breed, especially with the hostilities there used to be?" A soft smile curled Ranae's lips. ~Here we go, the mini-psych test.~ She sipped the water again. "Bigotry is alive and rampant everywhere in these enlightened times, sir, and to my family it appeared that it thrived on Bajor and focused on us. At least to my brother and myself it seemed that we daily had to suffer taunts and physical attacks from our peers. We tried to act like our parents, to shrug it off and turn the other cheek but it only got worse. When I could take no more after my brother was badly beaten, I began to fight back and eventually they learned to leave us alone. When we became teens we treated any prejudice towards us with contempt by walking away from aggressive behaviour..." She sipped her drink again and looked him in the eyes. "Most of the time it worked." Ranae gave a slight shrug, "and when it didn't, our martial arts training came in handy. By the time we graduated we had no problems from our peers and the racism wasn't so prevelant in the Academy, for obvious reasons... I learned that its better to live in peace, but sometimes you have to fight for that peace." Ranae took a long draw on the glass and allowed the water to fill her mouth for a second or two before swallowing it and then waited to see if the lieutenant had any further questions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique - Security office - 2O Lt.(sg) CTAC Jason Dema - 1145) Jason listened to Ammon's story. Between sips from his drink, he took some notes. It seems like he thought, and her childhood was not the ideal one. It did seem to make her more mature about life, and he liked her point of view. "I see you saw it through well." Jason said, and paused a few moments. "Well Ensign, let me be the first of the tactical department to welcome you aboard the USS Mystique. As you can see I'm still a little busy here, so a tour of the ship will have to wait. if in the meanwhile you have questions don't hesitate to ask." (reply Ammon) "If that is all, you are free to do as you will untill we launch again. You might want to check your quarters first, wich is on deck 4, room 34C. Dismissed" Jason finished with a friendly smile, and watched the Ensign leave his office. His eyes were turned back to the big pile of PADD's remaining. He got started right away, as delaying it, would only make it worse. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stardate: 2407.02.17 (USS Mystique - Security office - ATAC Ens(Jg) Ammon Ranae - 1150) Lt. Dema listened to Ranae's story and it seemed to the ensign, that he was genuinely interested in what she was telling him. ~But then again, head shrinks always show an interest too.~ She told herself, ~But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.~ "I see you saw it through well." He said, when she'd finished, and paused a few moments. "Well Ensign, let me be the first of the tactical department to welcome you aboard the USS Mystique. As you can see I'm still a little busy here, so a tour of the ship will have to wait. if in the meanwhile you have questions don't hesitate to ask." Looking at the pile of PADDs on his desk, Ranae gave a nod of acknowledgment, feeling not a little empathy for her boss. ~Superior rank so often has its disadvantages, especially if one is head of a department, so much 'paperwork' to do all the time. I'm glad I'm just one of the worker ants.~ Ranae was looking forward to getting some R & R the last year at the Academy had been very intense, any leisure time the cadets had, was usually spent in studying and reviewing, and as the year got closer to graduation they crammed more swotting into their hours away from classes. It would be good to actually have some time to just have fun. "Thank you, sir. I'm glad to be here." The ATAC replied, now eager to go exploring once she'd had a meal, a shower and caught up on some well deserved rest. "If that is all, you are free to do as you will until we launch again. You might want to check your quarters first, which is on deck 4, room 34C. Dismissed." Ensign Ammon had to curb the urge to jump off the chair and hurry from the office. The thought of a good meal and restful sleep was uppermost in her mind and she hoped that if she had to share the quarters, that her roommate or mates were amenable. Again she thanked him and strode from his office. ~Thank the Prophets, now I can start to settle in. First I'll find my quarters and then I'll go get something to eat. Deck 4, room 34C here I come!~ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------